visionary loser

an alternative to ennui

Tag Archives: stream of consciousness

Save for the songs of the birds and the wind in the trees

Sun on my neck,

Warm and comforting.

It was a long winter –

I feel the tension uncurl beneath my shoulders,

Like a shawl I drag it from me

One light quick tug

It floats away.

All worries float away,

Basking in that warm glow.

 

All the while I think of you.

How great it would be to share this with you,

So I call you.

The magic is disrupted –

Fragmented by the artificial, cold ringing

I immediately regret it

This is mine to cherish alone.

Not alone, but without you

Without another voice

Save for the songs of the birds and the wind in the trees.

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am i happy now i am now happy.

I’m not good at writing when I’m happy. Maybe it’s because I use it as an emotional release for all the tension and anger I feel. But doesn’t that give such emotions more power and control? Why don’t I write when things are good and blissful and I feel so full and content? Will it dispel these beautiful feelings I feel?

Is this a realization?

March 24, 2017.

I can simplify anything. Overly complicated issues are a product of irrational, emotional people – they cannot see the way amidst the fog. It goes as follows: matters of the heart are complex and emerge from a sad place. You can romanticize longing and that feeling after sex when your worries melt away and all that you see are those brown eyes filled with… something. Begging me to know what that something is. But all I see is sympathy and compassion. Otherwise, everything else is enveloped in a thread-bare blanket. Mislead, I believe in its false protection and warmth. For that blanket is falling apart before my very eyes and I am too stubborn to let it go.