visionary loser

an alternative to ennui

Tag Archives: breakup

We set ourselves on fire

A brazen, blazing passion

igniting such codependency

that they burned all the same.

By stoking this love

it had become as volatile as an inferno

threatening too much, they ended it.

Naughty little rendezvous

in the embers of what was

but ultimately, it needed to be tamed.

Put out before it devoured too much

for it had

it consumed his heart.

Fiery tempers and hot words

a jealousy that bloomed

and turned to ash.

They built a pyre

to sacrifice such sweet nostalgia

leaving behind an echo of incandescence.

Now he’s drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a bottle

swimming through salt and gasoline

such fervent ill-thoughts.

He lights a cigarette

and watches the smoke twist and dance –

There’s no extinguishing this bond.

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Sick Sad Love

As we embraced,

You put your hands on my waist,

And I felt myself sink into you.

 

My body responds to your touch –

striving for that electric pull,

Spark extinguished.

 

Floundering under the weight of memory –

rose coloured and golden,

I want it to be pure.

 

We are submerged in comfort and nostalgia,

Thrashing against chains that bind us,

Enslaved by this false Love.

 

You press your mouth to mine,

Sharing in the same substance that keeps us alive,

Can you tell my tears from ocean water?

 

The pressure builds,

My mind cloudy with blood and water,

And you like that it’s slowly killing us.

Falling in love with the idea of love

The girl who said yes the first time

Always said no the second time

Until she fell in love.

She judged her friends for succumbing to their passions

Only to fall for such wiles all the same

Because she was in love.

~

You speak to me in words

But I look at you with feeling.

Yet the words are empty,

Devoid of meaning,

And I find myself sedated with the deceitful promises

The sweet nothings,

Until I am consumed to completion.

Oblivion never looked so sad.

~

October 20, 2015 – He said, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

~

I want to love somebody who loves others, not someone who only loves themselves.

~

I’m scared of being alone. That’s what makes me cry. Not hurting him, but being alone. And the fear. He’s selfish, inconsiderate, unreliable, forgetful, and incapable of the easiest of tasks. Told to fuck off by his hands – pushing me away. But pulling me closer; caressing my head, kissing my neck… My mind a blur. I can’t deal with his schizophrenic ‘love’. That is, if we can even call it Love.

I think I want to go…

~

It just doesn’t feel real when he’s not here.

~

I want someone to make a movie of our life starting with the man who said “forever”.

~

“It’s perfect,” he said, about my ring.

“It’s never been perfect,” I thought

– about our relationship.