an alternative to ennui
Tag Archives: breakup
A brazen, blazing passion
igniting such codependency
that they burned all the same.
By stoking this love
it had become as volatile as an inferno
threatening too much, they ended it.
Naughty little rendezvous
in the embers of what was
but ultimately, it needed to be tamed.
Put out before it devoured too much
for it had
it consumed his heart.
Fiery tempers and hot words
a jealousy that bloomed
and turned to ash.
They built a pyre
to sacrifice such sweet nostalgia
leaving behind an echo of incandescence.
Now he’s drowning his sorrows at the bottom of a bottle
swimming through salt and gasoline
such fervent ill-thoughts.
He lights a cigarette
and watches the smoke twist and dance –
There’s no extinguishing this bond.
As we embraced,
You put your hands on my waist,
And I felt myself sink into you.
My body responds to your touch –
striving for that electric pull,
Floundering under the weight of memory –
rose coloured and golden,
I want it to be pure.
We are submerged in comfort and nostalgia,
Thrashing against chains that bind us,
Enslaved by this false Love.
You press your mouth to mine,
Sharing in the same substance that keeps us alive,
Can you tell my tears from ocean water?
The pressure builds,
My mind cloudy with blood and water,
And you like that it’s slowly killing us.
The girl who said yes the first time
Always said no the second time
Until she fell in love.
She judged her friends for succumbing to their passions
Only to fall for such wiles all the same
Because she was in love.
You speak to me in words
But I look at you with feeling.
Yet the words are empty,
Devoid of meaning,
And I find myself sedated with the deceitful promises
The sweet nothings,
Until I am consumed to completion.
Oblivion never looked so sad.
October 20, 2015 – He said, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I want to love somebody who loves others, not someone who only loves themselves.
I’m scared of being alone. That’s what makes me cry. Not hurting him, but being alone. And the fear. He’s selfish, inconsiderate, unreliable, forgetful, and incapable of the easiest of tasks. Told to fuck off by his hands – pushing me away. But pulling me closer; caressing my head, kissing my neck… My mind a blur. I can’t deal with his schizophrenic ‘love’. That is, if we can even call it Love.
I think I want to go…
It just doesn’t feel real when he’s not here.
I want someone to make a movie of our life starting with the man who said “forever”.
“It’s perfect,” he said, about my ring.
“It’s never been perfect,” I thought
– about our relationship.